Most of us dislike conflict – although you can probably think of someone who seems to thrive on it or even attract it. Generally, though, I think we try to get along with others in the world. It makes the day go easier if we are at ease with those around us and makes for a happier life.
Sometimes though conflict will arise, just by us having different points of view or perspective. So if we feel there might be potential conflict how can we try to avoid it, either in personal relationships or at work?
Try these suggestions:
- Be a good listener – by listening to the other person you might discover a point of view which you share or one which you can talk about which can lead to an understanding of each other. You may not agree but it may enable you to approach the situation in a less ‘rigid’ way.
- Think about the possibility of letting go of your position – think about how important it is to you to hold on to your need to be right. Is the situation one which involves a value which is negotiable for you?
- Look at the situation from the other person’s point of view – what would you want if the roles were reversed – ‘walk in their shoes.’
Be aware of personality clashes. Consider taking a personality test – there are many free sites on the web which offer a 16-personality test which is based on Myers Briggs profiling and gives you a summary of your personality traits but also helps you to identify personality traits in others and how you might react to each other. In a personal relationship or in a working team environment, this could give you important insights into the other person and help you manage your relationship better. Here is a site I particularly like and have used.
If a conflict cannot be avoided, there are some effective strategies and techniques which you can use to manage yourself in that situation. I’ll talk about those next time.
In the meantime, if you have any comments please drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org. If you are struggling with how to deal with conflict and would like support just book a Discovery Session by clicking the icon below.