Blog

How do we endure? | Posted May 2020

I haven’t posted for a while because of the overload of information on the internet about how to cope with Lockdown.  I don’t know about you but I have been overwhelmed by the social media noise telling me that I must  – learn a language, keep fit every day, get into baking etc. Initially, when […]

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How to overcome anxiety | Posted Mar 2020

The threat of the Covid-19 virus is causing us anxiety and fear. We are worried about our health, our family our friends and our community.  There is uncertainty about how long it will take for us to overcome this pandemic and we don’t know how long we will have to be in lock-down.  We are […]

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Lots of things happen when you don’t drink water … | Posted Mar 2020

…and none of them is good. At the present time there is a lot of anxiety about the Covid-19 virus and we, I hope, by now are all aware of the actions we need to take to protect ourselves and our loved ones from infection.  See the up to date, scientifically informed advice here. I […]

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Have you been seduced? | Posted Mar 2020

Have you heard that successful people are people who take action?  Do you believe that you have to get it all done to be ‘productive’?  Do you have a to-do list that never gets shorter? Overwhelming isn’t it? If you are like me, you have been seduced into trying to do more in less time.  […]

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What would make you more self-assured? | Posted Feb 2020

Behave like a child.  Yes seriously. When we are children we believe we can do anything but after about the age of seven we start to lose that ability and our big dreams are often crushed.  Adults start imposing their own restricting beliefs on us.  Mostly out of a desire to protect us or to […]

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How not to be perfect | Posted Jan 2020

My last blog was emailed to my mailing list and as I pressed the button I thought I had done a good job, watching the MailChimp monkey hand descend on the big red button with satisfaction. Later that day I received a supportive and kind email from Emma Langridge of Bramley Solutions, a colleague who […]

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Quitters Day | Posted Jan 2020

There is much debate about which date it actually is but it is about this time that if you’re gonna quit, you will. January 19 has been revealed as the day people are most likely to abandon their New Year’s fitness resolutions, according to new data insights from social fitness network Strava. During January, millions of Brits aim to […]

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How to find your courage and gain confidence | Posted Jan 2020

It’s New Year’s Day 2020 and the internet is flooded with videos and blogs giving you insights and tools into setting your goals for the year.  ‘New Year Resolutions’ maybe. I’m all for setting our intention to determine our path to our success but today I’m interested in looking back at 2019.  One of the […]

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Acceptance | Posted Dec 2019

In my last blog, I wrote about endings and how to manage them.  I  looked back over the year and thought about the endings I had made and what had ended in me in order for the ending to come about. What if the ending is thrust upon us unexpectedly or without us being involved […]

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Ending | Posted Nov 2019

Every Autumn I attend my women’s group annual meeting. The Group formed thirty-six years ago and I have been in a participant for twenty-one years. There is a tremendous wealth of experience and expertise in the Group, enriched by understanding our professional commitment, passion for our work, focus on our personal obstacles and support of […]

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Conflict – How to manage it | Posted Oct 2019

No matter how we try to understand one another, make compromises or calmly put our point across, sometimes conflict will arise.  When we communicate clearly and in a ‘level’ way, we can often come to an agreement with the other.  We can find a connection and establish how we can fit together. However, this assumes that […]

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Conflict – How to avoid it | Posted Oct 2019

Most of us dislike conflict – although you can probably think of someone who seems to thrive on it or even attract it.  Generally, though, I think we try to get along with others in the world.  It makes the day go easier if we are at ease with those around us and makes for […]

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Saying ‘Yes’. Feeling ‘No’. | Posted Sep 2019

How often do you say ‘Yes’ when you really want to say ‘No’?  How do you know that you really want to say ‘No’. In my last blog, I wrote about being authentic and choosing to do something which we don’t really want to do but we make a choice to do it because of […]

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Authenticity | Posted Aug 2019

When I write I realise that the subject is so multi-faceted that I have to concentrate on one aspect and keep to the subject. In my last blog I wrote about taking responsibility for our behaviour rather than taking responsibility for the feelings experienced by another as a response to our behaviour.  Being shaped by […]

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Are we defined or shaped by our experience? | Posted Aug 2019

Why is it that some people choose to be defined by their negative experience and some choose to rise above it and learn from it?  Why do I say ‘choose’? In my life, I have been exposed to difficult and challenging experiences. I’m sure you have too.  They have shaped me.  Have I allowed them […]

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How self-confidence is built | Posted Jul 2019

How can I be more self-confident?  This is a question I am often asked. The person asking is often of the mind that self-confidence is something which is gained in a moment – it being a ‘commodity’ as such.  Something which can be picked up and applied. Self-confidence is gained over time by learning new […]

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Lean In – 10 Seconds of Courage | Posted Jul 2019

This is the sixth, last and maybe the key technique in the series Six Tools to Build Self-Confidence. Here is a technique to find courage. We think of courageous people having courage all the time.  Courage is also for nervous, anxious and fearful people.  Courage is something which we call on when we are faced […]

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Practice | Posted Jul 2019

Welcome to the fifth blog in the series Six Tools to Build Self Confidence. Over the last four blogs in this series, I have offered you some simple techniques to use to develop your self-confidence and reduce anxiety. Self-confidence is like a muscle.  It has to be used to be developed.  If not, it will […]

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Be In The Present | Posted Jul 2019

Welcome to the fourth blog in the series – Six Tools to Build Your Self-Confidence.  In the last blog, I gave you a very simple physical technique to ground you when in a state of anxiety or lacking self-confidence.  It included the simplest technique of all – taking a breath. In addition to taking a […]

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Look Around You | Posted Jul 2019

Welcome to the third blog in the series Six Tools to Build Self Confidence. When we lack confidence or are in fear, we can become ‘ungrounded’ and ‘in our head’ dealing with the negative emotions and trying to work out a situation mentally.  One of the ways we can ‘ground ourselves’ or get back into […]

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Lots of things happen when we don’t breathe … | Posted Jun 2019

…and none of them are good. Welcome to the second blog in the series Six Tools to Build Self Confidence. Most people will be aware of holding their breath when stressed or fearful.  I notice it in the Consulting Room when I make an intervention.  The client will hold their breath when they are searching […]

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Fear or Excitement? | Posted Jun 2019

Welcome to the first blog in the series Six Tools to Build Self Confidence. Believe it or not, anxiety is a normal aspect of everyday life.  It is the mental state that gets you to an appointment on time and enables you to remember all the things you have to do.  It’s a state which […]

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Six Tools to Build Self-Confidence | Posted Jun 2019

Personal obstacles can often impact on our ability to do a good job in the workplace, to be the parent we want to be, to be social with our friends and be confident in the world.  To bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be can seem an impossible task. […]

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Fly High With Confidence | Posted May 2019

I was speaking to another therapist/coach who had publicly shared her challenging life experience and she said that she thought to share her story enabled people to feel that they could tell her anything and she wouldn’t be embarrassed or judgemental. Knowing that someone has been through something similar to us can help us have […]

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Crabs In A Bucket | Posted May 2019

A recent event resulted in a friend sharing a maxim with me ‘Crabs In a Bucket’ – it’s not one that I had ever heard before. Have you ever been undermined by another, someone who is maybe jealous of you or, to use another maxim, has an ‘axe to grind’? Has that person done something […]

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Why Confidence Matters | Posted May 2019

Your level of performance is directly related to your level of confidence.  If you want to perform better you need to raise your level of confidence in your ability to attempt, if not fulfil, the task in hand.  Confidence matters because you are unlikely to attempt something if you don’t believe in your ability.  Self-belief […]

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“I should have come to see you years ago.” | Posted Apr 2019

  “I should have come to see you years ago, I don’t know why I didn’t.” – this was something said to me this week whilst booking a Discovery Session for a potential new client.  There are many reasons why we wait to get support: “I am scared to open up to a stranger and […]

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Put your own oxygen mask on first | Posted Apr 2019

This week has been a challenge.  I changed my name and diversified my business, launched a new website, posted on social media and networked like crazy and then … went to bed. Whilst I knew that losing my voice and having a heavy head cold was my body telling me that now I had reached […]

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Hello!

Welcome to the first blog post!
| Posted Mar 2019

First of all let’s explain the name change.  I have for many years worked under my previous married name of Elaine Copeland but got divorced sometime ago.  Because my qualifications were achieved under that name it seemed easier to carry on trading under that name.

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